The National Learning Institute™

Leadership & Management Development Services

Coaching; 

How To Help People Take Commitment For Their Development

 

Copyright © 2006  The National Learning Institute

This article may be freely published electronically.  It may be reprinted for individual use in hard copy but may not be reprinted in hard copy for commercial purposes.

 

I recently conducted a coaching session on “How to be an effective coach” for a group of very senior financial service advisors responsible for the management and leadership of project teams that have clients of the mega rich variety.  When I asked them what they thought an ideal coach should be, I expected to get terms that describe what I would call a traditional view of a coach – i.e. someone who advises and shows others how to improve in a particular field.  The image of the traditional coach is that of a sports coach who is intent on imparting his or her knowledge to help athletes and teams improve their performance.  Now, I know that there is a wide variety of types and styles of coaches (see “Are you positive or negative?”).  However, my belief is that the commonly accepted view of a coach is more of the traditional view such as:

· Someone in charge of training an athlete or a sports team

· A person who gives private instruction (as in singing or acting)

 

To my amazement, my group of senior financial advisors came up with quite a different list from what I expected, i.e they suggested an ideal coach is someone who:

· Does not give advice, rather helps the person find out what they should do

· Is a good listener

· Has a calming affect on the person being coached (the “coachee”)

· “Lives” with the coachee’s issues, i.e. suspends judgment and really gets involved

· Displays a positive attitude toward the coachee

· Is always positive about finding a solution or helping the person develop

· Is proud of the coachee’s achievements

· Rarely shows emotions such as anger and annoyance

· Helps the coachee talk things through, particularly when the coachee is depressed

· Has a caring attitude toward the coachee

· Provides the coachee with a “comfort zone” where the person is free to say what he/she thinks and feels

 

Could I come up with a better list?  Probably not.  They then proceeded to develop a mission for a coach which they suggested should be:

 

“Asks questions to help the person find answers”

 

By this stage as the facilitator of the session, I was feeling quite redundant, but tremendously elated about the views this group had on what can sometimes be seen as a mundane chore of coaching.  Their enlightened view of a coach made it very easy for me to introduce them to the GROW model of coaching (first developed by John Whitmore).

 

The GROW model, embodies all the attributes that my financial advisors used to describe a coach.  The aim of the model is to help the coachee arrive at some resolution to their issue, problem, knowledge or skill deficit, not give them advice or direction on what they should do.  GROW stands for Goal, Reality, Options, Wrap-up (or Will).  It is a sequential model, ideally working from Goal through to Wrap-up.  However in practise, it is often found that coach and coachee will vacilate between the first three stages as they work through the issue.

 

Stage 1: Goal. The coach and coachee identify and agree on clear and achievable goals for the discussion. This goal is not the longer-term objective that the coachee might have regarding his or her issue.  Rather it is the definition of what can be achieved within the time set for this discussion session. For example, the coach might ask “What would you like to achieve from this session?” or “What would you like to walk away with from our discussion today?”

 

Stage 2: Reality. The aim of this stage is for the coach to help the coachee clearly define the current situation as seen by both coachee and others.  If the coach has knowledge of the situation, he / she may add their perceptions to assist the coachee to build as accurate a picture of reality as possible. For example the coach might ask “What’s happening now?” or “What’s working/what’s not working for you at the moment?” or “Who else has seen this or given you feedback?”

 

Stage 3: Options. In the options stage, the coach’s intention is to draw out all the possible alternatives or options the coachee might have (or be able to acquire) to deal successfully with the situation.  This is done without judgment or evaluation by the coach. As was once said to me “One should develop an opinion, not have an opinion”.  The coach (through effective questioning) helps the coachee narrow the options to arrive at the best possible alternatives by asking “What could you do to change the situation?” or “What alternatives are there to that approach?”.

 

Stage 4: Wrap-up. In this stage the coach’s intention is to gain commitment (or will) to take action. The coach and coachee select the most appropriate options, commit to action, define the action plan, the next steps and a timeframe for their objectives, then identify how to overcome any possible obstacles. For example “What are the next steps for you?” and “When will this happen?” and “What support do you need?”

 

Coaching of this type, can be a fantastic tool for helping someone develop.  However, to be successful:

· The coach must have a real and genuine interest in helping the coachee

· The coach must believe that the coachee can improve

· The coachee must be willing to be “coached”

 

The challenge as a coach in applying a technique such as the GROW model, is to remain non-directional - merely asking questions, summarising and listening and only giving advice when it is asked for and then only during the Options and Wrap-up stages.  For many of us this is quite a major challenge as our normal directive style is the polar opposite.  The payoff in mastering this challenge is to see the coachee take real ownership for their development knowing that you were the catalyst.

 

Where have all the honest managers gone?

 

Copyright © 2006  The National Learning Institute

This article may be freely published electronically.  It may be reprinted for individual use in hard copy but may not be reprinted in hard copy for commercial purposes.

 

I well remember as a young bank clerk many years ago, sitting at my desk one morning.  Around me were the sounds of hustle and bustle of a busy office – people were sipping their coffee (in those days it was instant!) opening the mail (ah, for the days before email!) and telling of the events of last evening or their trip to work that morning.  As a morning person, it was my best time of the day when I was at my most positive, creative and effective best, so I had my head down and bum up.  Time later for relaxing.  Suddenly, the air was split with an earth shattering yell.  My usually very quiet, reserved manager, had come out of his office, red in the face and yelling “Who did this?”  Everyone stopped dead.  When he recovered enough to tell us what the “this” was, I discovered to my horror that it was obviously something that I had done that had upset him.  Apparently, I had made a blunder that would impact one of our best customers most unfavourably.  I very tentatively, put my hand up “Mm, mm, mm, me, Sir”, I managed to stammer.  “Into my office, now!” he replied. 

 

By the time we had both sat down in his office, he had recovered his composure somewhat.  To my great surprise, he started the conversation with “Bob, I really appreciate your honesty in admitting to this mistake.  I am very disappointed that it has happened, but with some luck, we can probably correct it.  Thank you for owning up to your mistake so readily”.

 

That experience for me was bitter sweet and obviously long lasting.  It certainly had a major impact on my later mode of operating when I became a manager.  On the one hand, I was mortified to have made such a stupid mistake yet on the other hand, I had really felt good and upbeat about the way it had been handled.  I thought of that experience as I read an article in the Herald Tribune this week (Jan 3, 2007) titled “2 of 5 bosses don’t keep their word”.  The article reported on a soon to be released study in The Leadership Quarterly that found that by and large, many bosses today are dishonest with and about their workers.  The study specifically pointed out some damming evidence reported by workers about the honesty of their bosses:

· 39% said their supervisors had failed to keep promises.

· 37% said their supervisors had failed to give credit when due.

· 31% said their supervisors had given them the “silent treatment” in the past year.

· 27% said their supervisors had made negative comments about them to other employees or managers.

· 24% said their supervisors had invaded their privacy.

· 23% said their supervisors had blamed others to cover up mistakes or to minimise embarrassment.

 

Florida State University, the authors of the report, suggest that such dishonesty creates problems for companies such as poor morale, lower production and higher turnover.  These results confirm my own research in interviews and focus groups with managers and their employees over the last twenty years.  I too found that the major reason why people leave an organisation is because of poor management and leadership.  People don’t leave a company, they leave their boss!

 

What may surprise some readers is that the Florida State study also confirmed many earlier studies about the relationship between pay and turnover.  It found that a good working environment is more important than pay and that “employees were more likely to leave if involved in an abusive relationship than if dissatisfied with pay.

 

My own research also throws up two other factors of note:

· People join a company because of the excitement or enticement of an interesting job.

· People stay in a company because of the values they share with their fellow workers (assuming of course, that they have good management).

 

So, where does that leave today’s managers?  And, most importantly, what does it suggest for companies who want to boost morale, increase productivity and decrease staff turnover?

 

I suggest there are three answers to this question on which every employer should focus in the relationship with his or her workers, whether he or she be the CEO or a new supervisor.

 

Make sure pay and conditions are appropriate for the job and industry; and that they are fair and equitable.  This removes one of the stumbling blocks to effective employee morale and satisfaction.

 

Ensure that the job provides the employee with the ability to gain:

· a sense of real achievement for the work that they do

· recognition for what they achieve - regular “thank you’s” and notes of appreciation go a long way

· responsibility and even increased responsibility for what they do - make sure they are able to make decisions regarding their area of responsibility without having to “upwardly delegate”

· from a job that has real interest and meaning for them

· advancement and development, either by way of career progression, professional or personal development.

 

Remember, people join a company because of the excitement of the job.  It is up us as managers to do whatever we can to keep that excitement level high.

 

Above all, be honest in what you say and do.  A true manager’s mantra should be “Do as I do”, not “Do as I say”.  People leave a company because of poor leadership and management.  I have found that people will accept mistakes if we are open about them.  They will not accept cover ups.  The foundation for effective leadership and management is honesty.  These are qualities that everyone values.

 

So, where have all the honest managers gone?  I have no “amazing* research to provide the answers (although it would make an interesting study).  However, I will suggest that:

 

· Honesty, particularly in western society, is in decline generally due to the emphasis on individualism not community.  We have become a “Me too” society, where material and personal gain are valued above the good of the community.  Every day one reads in the press or hears on the TV some new “revelation” about a cover up, lack of integrity, or just plain dishonesty that has led to yet another major commercial or international disaster.

· Organisations, particularly since the late 80’s, have spent an inordinate amount of time and resources on boosting the job “satisfiers” (as Frederick Herzberg called them) – pay and conditions at the expense of the true “motivators” – achievement, recognition, responsibility, meaningful and interesting work, and growth and advancement.  The result?  When material gain becomes the all consuming and overt goal pursued by organisations (such as maximum shareholder returns and exorbitant senior manager benefits) over intrinsic basic human motivators, managers will do almost anything to “cover their bums” so that their extrinsic rewards are maintained.

 

Am I being too harsh on today’s managers?  I’d appreciate your thoughts, opinions, comments and stories.  I wonder how many of today’s managers would take the same approach as my old manager when faced with a similar situation to that of “my mistake”?

 

Do first impressions count?

 

Copyright © 2006  The National Learning Institute

This article may be freely published electronically.  It may be reprinted for individual use in hard copy but may not be reprinted in hard copy for commercial purposes.

 

I once worked with a young bloke named Neil.  Neil was bright, energetic and well presented.  There was only one detracting feature about Neil when you first met him – his handshake.  Shaking hands with Neil was like holding a wet fish – limp and squashy.  My boss at the time, Kendall Smith, was a very perceptive person.  Realising that in our business one had to make a good first impression, Kendall took Neil aside very soon after Neil started in the department for a chat.  I’m told the conversation went something along these lines …

 

“Neil, I can see that you have a lot of potential and you present yourself very well.  There’s only one detracting feature and that’s your handshake.  People make judgments about others when they first meet and one of the factors that influences their judgment is the handshake.  I’d like to see you develop a much firmer handshake.  Here’s what I propose.  Every morning when you come into my office to say ‘Good Morning boss’, I’d like us to shake hands.  I want you to keep doing this every day until I tell you that you have got it right.”

 

Many years later, well after I had moved on from that department, I met Neil in the street.  And as old colleagues do, we shook hands.  Well, he practically ripped my bl..dy arm off!  Either Neil had kept practising all these years or Kendall forgot to tell him to stop, I’m not sure which, but the difference was amazing.

 

During our discussion, I discovered that Neil was now manager of the department.  Can you put that meteoric rise down to first impressions?  Obviously not.  But, and I need to stress this, one’s image or persona does have a major impact on how others evaluate you, both immediately and over the longer term.

 

There has been a tremendous amount of research done over the years on first impressions.  This research consistently shows that:

· It takes less than 3 seconds to evaluate the other person based on their appearance, body language, demeanor, mannerisms and dress.  And we do.

· These first impressions are extremely difficult to change or undo.

· Once people have made a judgment about the other person, they instinctively look for other clues (as the relationship progresses) to support their initial judgment.  This is often referred to as the “halo effect”.

 

In a recent Canadian study, researches found that it takes less than a 20^th of a second for someone to make up their mind about the quality of a web page.  So it seems, whether it’s people or things, we make judgments almost as quickly as the eye can take in information.

 

What’s your image?  What do you want it to be in the eyes of others?

 

As a  boy spending time on my uncle’s farm, I learnt very early in life the value of image.  Whenever there was a new salesman calling at the farm, my uncle would give me a running commentary on what to expect as the car came up the long drive.  If the car was too new, then my uncle would say “Flashy, doesn’t understand his customers, probably a young upstart from the city”.  If it was old and seen better days, he would say “Probably not very successful, maybe another farmer down on his luck and changing careers”.  After the salesmen had gone, he would ask me what I thought of them – the way they looked, dressed, mannerisms, did they speak to me?  Invariably, his initial impressions seemed to me to be spot on.

 

You can make the image that you want 

 

I once worked in a financial services organisation where there was a highly respected and successful  internal auditor by the name of Charlie.  Charlie was an unusual dresser for an auditor.  To start with he was very tall and thin – this could have been overpowering, but he had an uncanny knack of smiling at the right time.  I also got the impression that with his piercing eyes, he could see right through you – he could certainly tell if you were lying.  There was another unusual feature about Charlie.  He wore the most outrageous shirts, and sticking out of the top of his shirt pocket you could see a green, red and purple pen – these were the colours of auditors. 

 

Think about Charlie’s persona for a moment (even his name – I’m sure it was “Charles”, but he had deliberately made it “Charlie”).  What was he trying to say?  What are some of the requirements of an internal auditor?  An internal auditor needs to be a cross between a policeman and a counselor – to be able to detect any improprieties as well as counsel staff on legal, accounting, ethical and if need be, personal matters.  Charlie had deliberately set out to create an image that said; “I am an expert auditor, I see things that need to be seen.  I’m also a warm and understanding person, I can handle emotional people”. 

 

In your business, what is the image that you need to create?  Take a look around the organisation – who are the three or four most admired and successful people?  Now, you want to emulate these people (not copy).  How do you do this?

 

· Take four plain post-it note size cards. 

· Write the four people’s names, one per card.

· Place the cards, name down, shuffle and draw two at random.

· On a sheet of paper, list the things about these two people that are similar.

· Repeat the drawing of two cards and listing their likenesses until all combinations for the four people have been exhausted.

 

You now have a list of traits, characteristics, behaviours, mannerisms etc. that characterise these successful people.  In fact, you have just defined the key aspects of your successful role model’s images.  Let me repeat.  You should not copy these people, but you can adapt your presentation, style, communication and ultimately your image, to match that of the most successful people in your organisation.  After all, they’ve learnt what works, why not use their experience?

 

Now that you have an idea of what your image should look like, here are some practical tips for displaying that image.

Dress to suit the organisation or the situation.  People do make judgments on what you wear, so make sure it is appropriate for the environment.  Even when there are recognised casual days (or your organisation dresses casually) make sure your dress is smart and looks professional.  As Lord Chamberlain said to his son “Dress is a very foolish thing; and yet it is a very foolish thing for a man not to be well-dressed.”

Learn and use people’s names quickly.  One of the greatest compliments one can receive, is to be called by name.  It’s also very impressive when you can remember other people’s names.  Write them down as soon as you can, or if you don’t have that immediate opportunity, repeat the person’s name two or three times in the first few minutes of the conversation. 

Ask lots of questions and ask for help.  Asking questions shows a genuine interest in people.  Asking for their help shows that you respect them – it also shows that you are human and ready to learn.

Listen more than talk.  Although people will want to hear your opinion, there’s a fine line between giving your opinion and being over bearing.  Err on the side of caution.  Listen, it’s amazing how much you will learn.

Give praise and recognition.  Show your appreciation for the things people do for you.  Compliment them on their good work.

 

You can learn to make a positive and lasting first impression, modify it to suit any situation, and come out a winner.  It means that you need to think about what image you wish to portray and most importantly, “How will I present myself in this situation?”